*I come into work and relieve the guard before me*
Him: "You know what I need?"
Me: "A drink?"
Him: "I need a droid that understands the binary..."
In Unison: "...language of moisture vaporators."
Him: "And I'm not settling for one that just worked on binary load lifters, either."
Me: "As well you shouldn't."
Him: "But what I could really use is a drink." *heads off to the bar*
-Proof that there are nerds working security


"I read that they're in talks with Speilberg to make [the Halo movie], but I'm not sure how that would work. The guy doesn't have a face!"
"Well, in the books he has a name and a face, so they could give him one for the movie, too."
"Wait, there are Halo books and you've actually read them? Man, they should make your kind wear special hats."
"Look who's talking."
-The same guard and me, at another shift change


"All the librarians have to be armed when they're on duty, of course."
-1635: The Dreeson Incident by Eric Flint and Virginia DeMarce


"Okay, robots should not do cocaine. Especially not Tachikomas. They're hyper enough as it is."
-My friend, regarding a comedic scene from Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex


"When it comes to the safety of your family... don't you want to put yout trust in a swordsman who has shoes?"
-the swordsman's manager from Ashes of Time Redux


"He's quite the salesman."
-My friend on the above quote


"Is it just me, or is this movie a bit confusing?"
"A bit.... Wait! Have we ever seen the brother and sister in the same place at the same time?"
"...No! No we haven't!"
"Okay, now it makes sense. ...and has gotten considerably weirder."
-My friend and I on Ashes of Time Redux


Hacker: "I want to hack into his computer."
GM: "Okay. You easily break into his computer. All you find is his porn and his blog."
Me: "Heh. You should put his porn on his blog."
Hacker: "Oh, I am so doing that!"
-actual in-character conversation from last week's Shadowrun game